Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Stop Procrastinating Now and Let me Teach you How!

Many of my clients ask me how they can stop procrastinating.
This has been a fascinating part of my coaching because all the clients who describe themselves procrastinating have the same underlying problem.
That problem is the fear of failure, and the fear of rejection.

If you really stop and think about it – it is easier to say, “I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” That really is so much easier than putting yourself “out there” and committing to something at the risk that your best efforts are still not good enough.

Human beings have this inner belief that if you fail – you get rejected, and the fear of rejection is a powerful and primal fear. Always remember that your subconscious mind is wired to keep you safe.
Back when us humans were hunter gatherers, if your tribe rejected you or cast you out, then you could die. Out in the wilds on your own you could be eaten by a wild animal or attacked by a rival tribe. There was safety in numbers.
Our instincts are still wired to keep us safe by fitting in and sticking with what we already know.

Modern life is totally different – you can be on your own and survive, thrive and be safe but our minds are still wired with this terrible fear of rejection.

In today's world that doesn’t always serve you. The fear of rejection and that subconscious need to stay in what is familiar is why so many people stay in a miserable job for example, (even though they might LONG every day to do something different).
It’s also why people stay in unhappy relationships or keep sabotaging their weight loss by cheating on their diet.
Our minds do everything they can, to convince us to stick with what we are familiar with.

We all have this primitive fear that basically – if we get rejected, we will die, but that doesn’t apply any more… You wont die, you will bounce back, and you will get stronger.

How do you overcome this and become a person who no longer procrastinates?

When we decide to make any change in our behaviour, the best way to achieve real and lasting change is to understand what lies beneath that behaviour.

Procrastination is quite simply, a fear of being rejected, a fear of being not good enough.

According to experts – this is, in fact the most common fear in the world so you are not alone.

Understand this concept, realize “Aaah… I am doing this" (Watching Netflix or stopping for coffee) instead of that… (whatever that task is that you are avoiding)

The next step is to have a conversation with yourself and remember that nobody else can make you feel rejected – without your permission.

Only YOU can allow another person to make you feel rejected or not good enough.

Think about it, we have all heard of movie stars, famous A-listers, who got rejected hundreds of times before they eventually landed that first big role.
We have all heard of business moguls or inventors that had their business strategies or their inventions rejected time and time again before it got taken up and made them billions or changed the world.

On the other side of the coin there are those people who get rejected once or twice and quickly step back and give up on their dream, it just hurts too much.

What is the difference between those 2 kinds of people, many of the people who give up are just as talented, just as brilliant, sometimes more so…

Why do the “winners” not get defeated by rejection?

Under the surface, what lies beneath for those "winners" is usually a stronger and better sense of self-worth, self-acceptance. Those people believe strongly in their own value or the value of their talent, their ideas.

They don’t allow rejection to stop them in their tracks – because they don’t believe that rejection, they believe in their own value!

When we procrastinate we are allowing the fear of rejection to stop us in our tracks. We still need to learn that the only one who can TRULY reject ME, is ME! I am the only person who has that power… Only I can reject me!

In modern life, rejection does NOT kill you – our lives are totally different to how they where when we needed safety in numbers. So, if you want to stop procrastinating then understand yourself. Understand that procrastination is a fear of rejection, a fear of not being good enough.

How do you overcome that?

Use your words wisely; tell yourself another story.

By NOT getting started, by NOT doing this, or that, I am actually rejecting myself! 

I am so afraid of rejection that I am rejecting myself before I give anyone else the chance to reject me!

The next thing to remember is something that I do go on about to my clients;

The Power of Your Words!

Your mind has a job to do and that is to listen to the words that you say, and do what you tell it, to keep you safe.

So, if your mind hears you saying things like;

This admin is killing me
I would love to start my dream business but it’s so risky
Doing the accounts for my business drives me crazy
I get SO hungry on any diet
I feel like I am starving to death

Your mind supports you by keeping you safe, it says

WHOAH lets create actions and habits that keep you from being killed, or putting yourself at risk, or from going crazy, or feeling hungry!

The great thing about this is that you CAN change this all!

The most effective foundation for change is always to upgrade that conversation that you have with yourself!

I am doing this admin/these accounts/making those dreaded phone-calls NOW, RIGHT NOW. I have CHOSEN to do this because I CHOOSE success and I feel GREAT about it. 

Using words correctly, literally changes your mind.

Some people wonder why they can never stick to their fitness program, when they are telling themselves, This is SO HARD, it hurts, I am exhausted.
While others say I LOVE my workouts, I feel SO great afterwards and even during the workout. I LOVE how it benefits my body AND my mind.

Which one of those people are going to be more likely to keep up with their fitness?

The wonderful and really useful thing about your subconscious mind is that it doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not real.
Your mind absorbs and believes exactly what it hears most often.

Another fascinating thing about your mind is that it can’t tell the difference between fear and excitement and you can also use this to your advantage…

Every time that you feel a fear that you KNOW is holding you back – LIE to your mind!
Tell it a different story;

I am SO excited to start this new project/to go for the interview for that amazing job/ to do EVERY SINGLE thing that I need to do to make this business a success!

Remember that procrastination comes from the fear of rejection so reprogram that fear into an excitement about what you can achieve by simply telling yourself another story and repeating that story regularly!

Another effective thing you can do is to use rewards.
Human beings love rewards.

A reward can also be seen as a little celebration and… just as Lisa Nichols tells us
What gets celebrated, gets repeated!

Often, we find ourselves saying
I know I need to do this or that, but I just don’t feel like it
And then before you know it you are making yourself a cup of coffee or grabbing a bite to eat and actually just procrastinating again!

So rather – remember to say
I am doing this NOW, RIGHT NOW because I have CHOSEN to do this, and I CHOOSE to feel GREAT about it!

And then…. After you’ve done that job, after you’ve achieved that task THEN you reward yourself with a yummy, healthy bite to eat or that wonderful cup of coffee. SAVOUR that that reward, make it feel like a little celebration of a job done well, that task you didn’t want to do but it needed to be done… because remember
What gets celebrated, gets repeated!

Another way to approach rewards is that when you know that something you LOVE is coming up, maybe it’s your morning coffee break or perhaps it’s your favourite TV show in the evening; Look forward to that as a reward but before it happens tell yourself that you are going to DO that task that you have been avoiding and that your coffee break or that TV show will be your reward. The great thing is that with a sense of accomplishment behind you… you enjoy that reward EVEN MORE than usual.

So, STOP rejecting yourself.

Procrastination is YOU rejecting YOURSELF.

Be aware and mindful of the conversation that goes on inside your own head, upgrade it and use that conversation to serve and empower you rather than limit you.

I hope you have been able to take some helpful tips from this. If you enjoyed this post then be sure to follow this blog.
You can find me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/fifonow_coaching/
You can find me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/FifoLive/
You can find me on YouTube at
 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaPDKrucGTkeowLTHGkoZNA?view_as=subscriber

I love to deliver value to my tribe, we talk about mind management and we talk about mental and emotional strategies that are vital to successful and lasting weight release.
I help yo-yo dieters recover from compulsive eating and comfort eating and to be their Perfect Size Always.
My name is Fiona Burdett, I am a life-coach and a body transformation coach. I am always here to answer questions and have discussions so please leave your comments or questions, I love to read your comments and to answer questions… so let’s learn grow and share together



Thursday, April 16, 2020

Even Coaches "Backslide" and Now I Am SO Glad That I Did! Even in Lock-Down - Get BACK UP AGAIN & You Will Feel SO Much Better!

I have been doing my best in my business; Really putting my heart and soul into motivating, coaching and inspiring each and every one of my clients, fine-tuning and improving every module on my online courses. Studying and expanding my knowledge so that I can deliver more to my entire client base...
I have been doing my best to spend time with 2 of my kids who are at home for lock-down.
I have been disinfecting every single grocery item that comes through our door and then double-disinfecting the ones that we send to my Mum!
I have been wiping, scrubbing, sweeping, washing......
and...
then there are those dog-poos!!!!
I mean WTF!?!?... How many times a day does a Labrador poo??? We have 3 lovable Labs and 1 regal Sausage-Dog and I think each one of them has decided to poo 4 times a day just to keep us entertained (because poop-scooping is just the BEST fun ain't it?)

This lock-down has proved surprisingly busy and... I have been using all of that as an excuse!
Sound familiar?

...An excuse to do EXACTLY what I advise my clients NOT to do... and that was to put my own self-care, right at the back of the queue!

1st to go was my fitness regime; YES it is a difficult adjustment to make when you are not even allowed to go running outside your own gate, but there is a BIG difference between difficult and impossible!

YES it is difficult to stay inspired when you feel the psychological pressure of "captivity"...but there is BIG difference between difficult and impossible!

Next - my normal healthy nutrition started to "take a knock" here and there... and before I knew it - I wasn't feeling that great
Sure - I didn't have the old "demons" of self-loathing buzzing around my head (which is WONDERFUL) but my "normal" is so utterly different from what it used to be when I was in my early 40's and weighing in at over 100 kilograms (224 pounds) and I didn't like how I was feeling!

Its not just about the size of my body... it's about a sense of wellness and physical strength that is now my norm and as soon as I realized that I was really missing that feeling... 
then it was a matter of MAKING THE DECISION

My mindset and inner dialogue (That all important internal conversation that we all have with ourselves) is SO different to how it used to be back when I lived my Yo-yo type of lifestyle
I didn't waste time with self-loathing and regret - I just went "STOP..... I am not feeling great right now and I don't love this!

A few years ago - I would have punished myself for weeks, wondering why I was so weak and so hopeless and feeling sad and weary that weight-loss and being healthy was just SO HARD!
That usually resulted in a harsh diet and then a rebounding eating-binge - all proving my own unworthiness (as I believed at that stage) to me all over again!
Sound familiar?

That is exactly why I go on and on and ON to my clients about that internal conversation...
Believe that you are unworthy and you will keep creating that result!

Why am I SO glad that I backslid for a few weeks?

Because I want to remind my clients that I am SO NORMAL... I do NOT live by harsh or restrictive diets but rather by healthy principals that I LOVE and CELEBRATE! Changing my mindset and loving myself again has made these principals FUN and my norm... and... how I released what is now at least 45kg (100 pounds).

Yes - I allowed lock-down to affect my mentality (and therefore my actions) for a few weeks, but we are not defined by our mistakes guys - we are defined by how we get back up!

"The greatest glory in living, lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall"
Nelson Mandela


So... IT IS NOT TOO LATE - If you have allowed lock-down to hijack your healthy routine... Just get back up my friend and I PROMISE that you will feel SO much better for it...

I "got back up" only yesterday and I am ALREADY feeling AMAZING as a result!

Lock-down does feel restrictive, especially for those of us in countries that have imposed strict measures... but remember that its never been easier to save a life so STAY AT HOME

"Even behind prison walls I can see the heavy clouds and the blue sky over the horizon"
Nelson Mandela

We have it SO much easier than our beloved Madiba did, so brace-up, chin up and get-up!
This comes with LOADS of love from me
Fifo





Tuesday, April 7, 2020

What CAN You Do In Lock-Down?

Have You Got Cabin-Fever Yet?
I know I have had my moments... It's so easy to let it get the better of you, but that too is a choice!
Some people are doing a really great job of staying positive during lock-down.
Others… not so much ….
What can you do to cope with this unprecedented time when more people in the world are feeling that they are “in captivity” all at the same time than probably ever before in history?
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." - Viktor Frankyl
So many of us are stuck in lock-down FAR away from the people that we most love.
Its difficult, but you HAVE to make a daily decision …..My life is Good
You kids might be driving you nuts - but choose rather to focus on the gratitude that you have those kids!
Get up in the morning – at a good time – don’t lounge in bed (it doesn’t do your mental state any good at all)
Start your day with gratitude. Write a gratitude list and every single morning add 3 NEW things to that list. Big or small. Gratitude really puts your life and your problems into a whole new perspective that is so much more positive!
Yes…. Literally COUNT your Blessings!
Make your bed…. And do a GOOD job it. This starts your day with a sense of accomplishment and sets your mind up to accomplish more that day. When you accomplish more, you feel better…
Look after your health. Avoid junk food – right now you want to boost your immune system and SUGAR IS THE ENEMY of your immune system! Move your body…. You probably cant go to gym right now but you CAN exercise at home!
Stay hydrated – not with sugary drinks but with water, tea, health teas are great - Learn how to drink them without sugar.
Do NOT revert to what I like to call sloth-dom and binge-eating or comfort eating.
When you are stressed – often the hardest thing to do is to do those healthy things… you don’t feel like it but that’s what you MUST do… now more than ever! Boost your immune system by supporting your body!
Stress, worry and anxiety upset your immune system which likes calmness and positivity. A great way to stay calm is through meditation. You don't have to be experienced at meditation and there are SO many free meditations out there right now. Just do your best version of meditation every day.
There are no drugs that specifically cure covid-19 and the very best drug you have, is in YOU. Use your mind and your actions to boost your immunity. When you think negatively you weaken your immunity….
Do NOT watch the news all day or follow the latest numbers on the pandemic like an obsession. Be informed but honestly, checking the news once a day is more than enough. Rather than watch the news all day, read uplifting books, grow your mind, grow your skills; study for a new qualification.
This lock-down is an opportunity for you to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do!
In a crisis - You have a choice, you can either rationalize why you are feeling so miserable and excuse yourself for succumbing to the misery
OR…
You can talk yourself out of it!
Just remember though, that it IS a choice!
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way." - Viktor Frankyl
The best way to understand that you CAN choose your attitude Is to remember that the way that you feel about anything and everything including this virus comes down to the pictures that you put in your head and the words that you say to yourself.
If you say; "I cant cope with the worry", or "I don’t think I can handle this", well that’s how you will feel and will be highly likely to make that your reality.
But, If you say; "This IS bad, but what can I find or create in this situation that is good?" Then you will find and create good… even in this crisis.
In a world of uncertainty that feels so out of control… you CAN control your thoughts and and your thoughts help you control your feelings. Positive thoughts and feelings lead you into positive actions and positive actions… get positive outcomes.
The human spirit is powerful, beautiful and resilient and this is an opportunity to show that powerful, beautiful resilient side of you… to YOU
Stay strong, Stay at home, and make the right choices, every day
This comes with loads of love
From Me...
Fifo
PS: If you are finding yourself sucked back into those old compulsive-eating habits or If you have surrendered to comfort-eating and are feeling bad about it then Take a Look Here At The Free Video Coaching on This Page, You CAN beat this, ESPECIALLY in lock-down!

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